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Saturday, August 13, 2011

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

**SEEKING GOD'S WISDOM AND GUIDANCE FOR AVA AND OUR FAMILY**
Well...all I can say is this has been a tough past several weeks. Our baby went into Children's on July 17 with respiratory distress. We decided to move ahead with the Nissen Fundoplication on July 24. She seemed to be doing well and then had a minor setback early last week with a suspected seizure but bounced right back. Then we were back on track to going home this week. Then...we get the call 2 days ago that she has, what appears to be, formula coming out of her nose. *Reflux again* I thought I was at my wits end with that news. Then I get another phone call this morning from one of the pulmonary (respiratory) Dr's saying that she has pneumonia (again) and they are moving her back to the I.C.U. again. In this same conversation he conveys the message that he is 'really concerned' about the direction we are headed. I read between the lines and knew exactly what he was trying to say. In the medical field, multiple pneumonia's are not good-period. So a good friend of ours took Aohdan for the day so that Kenny and I could stay together at the hospital with Ava and just really talk about what was happening. I napped on the couch in Ava's room while Kenny read the book of Job. Afterwards, we both went to Subway and Kenny shared with me what he read in the book of Job while we munched on our subs and talked about Ava's life and where we were headed. It is a hard thing to think about that your child might leave this world before you do, but those were some of the things we talked about tonight. I don't pretend to know God's will for our life or Ava's, but no matter how hard it is I KNOW 100% for sure that He is there with us making sure we're okay. I told Kenny tonight, "You know babe, the world we live in really sucks sometimes!...BUT, I also know in my heart that God is here with us." After eating our subway, we headed back up to the I.C.U. and ended up talking with one of the resident Dr's at length about 'options.' The main thing we spoke of was a trach. As most of you know, I have always been opposed to a trach but, as I told the Dr tonight, if it will HELP her I will do anything. We really need prayer for strength to get through this trial, wisdom in making decisions concerning Ava's future and medical procedures, and, most of all, God's Will to take over our lives. We love you all and thank you so much for sticking it out with us. This has been a long, hard road and sometimes I wonder if we'll see the light at the end of the tunnel *grin* But I know we will and I know that we'll come out victorious in the end!

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